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ASK A QUESTION
CareerFocus Café reserves the right to edit questions for content and clarity. While we attempt to answer every question, we cannot guarantee a response.
How can I say no to my boss’s volunteer projects?
Dear Workplace Dilemmas
My boss is involved with the Boy Scouts and he constantly asks me and another co-worker to work on flyers, posters and other Boy Scout material. This has nothing to do with our work. What can I say to him, or should I go above him?
Not a Happy Camper
Dear Not Happy
The key to any difficult conversation is: A. Start in a safe place; B. Acknowledge the other person's point of view; and C. Present your issue factually and not emotionally. In this case, a safe place to start might be the boss's interests in Boy Scouts. Compare these exchanges.
Not good:
"Boss, I feel you are taking advantage of your position asking us to work on this Boy Scout stuff."
Better:
"How much work do the Boy Scouts expect from you as a volunteer?" followed by, "That is a big commitment. I'll bet the kids appreciate it." and "I respect your work with the Scouts. I am also finding it hard to take on non-work-related projects given my workload. What could we do from here that is fair to both of us?"
As for going above your boss's head, I feel that you owe it to him or her to discuss the issue directly first. Going to someone's manager should be reserved for situations where important boundaries are being crossed, because in general your working relationship will probably never be the same afterward. Normally my mantra is that criticism, from you or someone's manager, is the least effective way to get what you want. Good luck!
Richard S. Gallagher
Richard S. Gallagher is a corporate trainer, speaker and author who specializes in the mechanics of workplace culture and communication. His latest book, How to Tell Anyone Anything, provides an effective step-by-step method for successfully navigating difficult conversations at work.
MORE QUESTIONS
Dear Workplace Dilemmas
I’ve been in the same job in maintenance for 10 years and I hate it. It’s nasty; it makes me feel so worthless and I need a change.
Dear Workplace Dilemmas,
I’ve been working in the small office of a nonprofit organization for about two years, and six months ago another employee joined our staff. Over time, she's become increasingly rude and demanding. This is something that both visitors to the office and other co-workers have noted. She’s argumentative about everything, big or small; she resists any kind of help or suggestions concerning her work; she won’t inform me about important meetings; she yells at people over the phone and uses the f-word often.
Dear Workplace Dilemmas
My boss is involved with the Boy Scouts and he constantly asks me and another co-worker to work on flyers, posters and other Boy Scout material. This has nothing to do with our work. What can I say to him, or should I go above him?
Not a Happy Camper
Dear Katherine and Kathi,
I work with a woman who loves to point out mistakes and always wants to be in charge.
This coworker is a back stabber – although she constantly picks, she’s very friendly to my face. She once told me that my boss didn’t want me in my current position because I wasn't qualified.
Dear Workplace Dilemmas,
At my most recent performance review, my boss was very positive about my work but cited one negative – my office is too messy. It’s true I’m not a neat person and I have stack of papers on my desk and on the floor. I don’t like to file and the clutter doesn’t bother me. I’ve always been this way and I don’t think it interferes with the quality of my work. I know where everything is and I never miss a deadline.
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