How can I say no to my boss’s volunteer projects?

Dear Workplace Dilemmas
My boss is involved with the Boy Scouts and he constantly asks me and another co-worker to work on flyers, posters and other Boy Scout material. This has nothing to do with our work. What can I say to him, or should I go above him?

Not a Happy Camper

Dear Not Happy
The key to any difficult conversation is: A. Start in a safe place; B. Acknowledge the other person's point of view; and C. Present your issue factually and not emotionally. In this case, a safe place to start might be the boss's interests in Boy Scouts. Compare these exchanges.

Not good:
"Boss, I feel you are taking advantage of your position asking us to work on this Boy Scout stuff."

Better:
"How much work do the Boy Scouts expect from you as a volunteer?" followed by, "That is a big commitment. I'll bet the kids appreciate it." and "I respect your work with the Scouts. I am also finding it hard to take on non-work-related projects given my workload. What could we do from here that is fair to both of us?"

As for going above your boss's head, I feel that you owe it to him or her to discuss the issue directly first. Going to someone's manager should be reserved for situations where important boundaries are being crossed, because in general your working relationship will probably never be the same afterward. Normally my mantra is that criticism, from you or someone's manager, is the least effective way to get what you want. Good luck!

Richard S. Gallagher

Richard S. Gallagher is a corporate trainer, speaker and author who specializes in the mechanics of workplace culture and communication. His latest book, How to Tell Anyone Anything [2], provides an effective step-by-step method for successfully navigating difficult conversations at work.